L-I-V-I-D

My dad does this thing sometimes where he puts a fist to his chin (to get that Dudley Do-Right chin) and then puts on his best Thurston Howell III/Country Club voice to say things. Usually they involve spelling things. As in, "Muffy, I could've died. D-I-E-D, died." Or "That just tacky. T-A-C-K-Y" and my favorite, "Darling, I was just L-I-V-I-D livid."

I just stole the last one for my recap of tonight's Dancing with the Stars results show. So, those of you who actually read both this and my recaps, all 2 of you, can get the added joke of imagining my dad's fist-chin. Enjoy.

Why I want to kick Mark Zuckerberg in the nards. A not quite one-act play for two characters. Mild profanity. Seizure warning.

Patron: I need help logging into my Facebook.
Me: Ok, let's see. ... Do you remember the email you used for the account?
Patron: I can't remember the password.
Me: To the email or to the Facebook?
Patron: Either. I don't even know my email. Don't know how to give it out. We do things different now with the Facebook. You don't have to know people's address, you just have to know their name.
Me: Right. But Facebook needs a way to help you reset your password. They're going to send it to your email, or by text to your phone.  ... [scans page, sees another option] Ok, look here. You can enter your name on Facebook and let's see where that takes us.
[Patron types name in laboriously, as if a QWERTY keyboard is an alien object.]

The value of being a mother

Tonight, Survivor had the annual "Loved ones visit" reward challenge. It sparked in me some thoughts about motherhood and our unconscious prioritizing of it in judging a woman's worth. More complete thoughts after the fold to avoid spoilers for anyone who hasn't watched the May 8 episode yet.

LotionQuest 2013 Update - A disappointment and a potential winner

Remember my detailed and thorough search for a good lotion? It continues with two more contenders. And a special guest appearance by a body OIL.

 Curel Ultra Healing Lotion for Extra Dry Skin

This one is just ok as a lotion. It's  not as watery as some I tried (I'm looking at you Aveeno Creamy Moisturizing Oil.) but not as thick as others (See Lubriderm review below.) But what made it a a miss ultimately was the smell. It's "unscented" but nothing is really without scent - it's only without added scent or fragrance. Most things on the planet have a smell of some sort. And this one didn't please me.

It's on the cheaper end of lotions I've reviewed so far, so if you don't mind the smell, it's worth trying.

$7.59 for 20 oz at drugstore.com (38¢ per ounce)

Lubriderm Advanced Therapy

Of all the lotions I've tried so far, this one is the clear winner. And somewhat ironically, it's not one anybody mentioned when I first solicited recommendations.

It's thick, but absorbs well. It's "unscented" but in a way I still like the smell of.  It works great on arms and legs, but also rougher bits like knees, elbows, and heels.

Also, price-wise, it's significantly cheaper at 49¢ per ounce than the other ones I've liked so far - Kiss My Face at 72¢ and the Johnson's Baby Oil Cream at 60¢.

$7.99 for 16 oz. at walgreens.com (49¢ per ounce)

As promised, there's a non-lotion contender in the mix this time. Y'all it got so bad, I succumbed to the impulse in the health and beauty aisle to SLATHER MYSELF IN OIL.

Neutrogena Body Oil Light Sesame Formula

Eh. It's oil. As my English friends would say, "Did what it said on the tin." The sesame smell wasn't THAT overwhelming, but I still felt vaguely like I was preparing myself for a stir-fry. Also, the effect of it didn't last that long, especially as it didn't really absorb that well. Most likely my pajamas got more benefit from it than I did.

Maybe it would be good for massages?

$10.49 for 8.5 oz at cvs.com ($1.23 per ounce - yikes! I don't think I paid near that much for it at the local Kroger.)

Dancing with the Stars, Week 5

I'm late with this - should have had them up last week.

• Jacoby only recap
• Performance Show recap 
• Results Recap -  if you had "gelfling" in this week's pop culture reference pool, congratulations!

Most memorable moment of the night:

And he did this without much of a running start.
Also, didn't notice the striped socks until just now. LOVE.

 Second most memorable:

Her hair. Her pants. Her makeup. All of it. Aieeeeee!

Busy week for the other Amy Wattses

• In Las Vegas, there is constant exhortation for social media participation by her employer.
• In Ohio, Country Inn & Suites is DYING to know how she felt about her recent stay.
• In Australia, she's been invited to a reunion for her school happening in London. London, England. I'm not even sure I can be bothered to go to mine in the next state this summer.
• In the UK, she's being alerted to a sale at a Tattoo & Piercing Parlour.
• In place unknown, she's got a message from her new internet banking account.
• And in San Mateo, California, she's just joined a gym.
  

It's exhausting being us some weeks.

Dancing with the Stars, Week 4 Recaps

The performance show - My mom gets really emotional about/with Andy Dick. Father suggested a rather crude headline for story as result. Did not pass along said suggestion to editor at Sun.

The results show Uneventful show, uneventful recap.